A Merry and Bright Christmas!

A belated Merry Christmas and an early New Years my friends!

Pie my creative sister made

The month of December has been even more busy for both Jen and I this year.

My husband and I have been caught up with packing/moving/unpacking/sorting/organizing/lessening our accumilation of "stuff" and celebrating Christmas with all its joys and, of course, this year all plans for Christmas changed on Christmas Eve. Jen has had extra family time to invest in - which she'll tell you all about sometime in Janaury.

I've always enjoyed the idea of regular blogging, and I am making a strong attempt to stay on top of posting, somtimes it is just as important to say "no".

Our tree-topper

I've been taking the time to breathe and enjoy the season. No white Christmas here like last year, but plenty of cold weather and icy nights to gaze at the stars. My husband and I celebrated "our" little Christmas a week early this year. I gave him a webcam so he can talk and play D&D with his friends in Colorado and he took me shopping for some sweaters.
Our budgets are limited and with the shining eyes of little ones the magic seems different as an adult. I love Christmas. And time with my family, especially with my siblings and parents is always fun. But a few years from now, with new little ones and their cousins? It is something I look forward to a great deal.
For now, I just enjoy this time, my cats and my husband. The quietness of it all.

2013 will bring an entire new set of challenges for us. 2012 held a new town, a new house, a new school, a new degree path and a new job. It held me finding health and dealing with the confusion of what to do now that I had it. It held us rescuing Oggy, our kitten and it has held us learning to budget as a married couple.

2013 will hold different challenges, sorrows and joys. I'm starting college again, and looking forward to it. My husband is taking 21 credits and working. We have just moved into a much tinier space and we have committed to making do with less. 

Pinterest Finds

I am a huge fan of Pinterest.

I love it. It is awesome and helpful. 

But when it comes to baby stuff? Watch out! You guys, there is sooo many cute ideas!

•  I've already designed several nurseries, for both genders. 
• Planned outfits and complete wardrobes.
• Decided I have to learn how to crochet and knit. 
• Learned all about newborn photography and have all the photoshoots planned out. 
• Drooled over all the cute, cool and vintage toys. 
• HAVE to have a custom built crib and rocking horse and perfectly tinted paint for the walls. And the mobiles!
• I looooveeee the mobiles. I think I need at least 3 or 4. 

Pinterest both soothes and feeds my baby fever. I can't seem to quit it. 

And that is just the fun baby stuff!

• I have my pregnancy exercise plan in place.
• My pregnancy diet. 
• All my information about doulas and midwives and water births. 
• How to prepare my husband for a baby. 
• How to prepare the cats for a baby.
• How to recover from birth.
• Tons of information on breastfeeding and homemade baby food....

The list goes on and on. 

In all seriousness though, I really do enjoy the site, and the concepts for creating my own personal style are easily available. Not to mention how much it has helped my find Gluten-Free tips and recipes! So here is what just might become a weekly thing: My current top Pinterest finds:

 

Potty Training... I think.

Naked butts everywhere.. toddler ones that is.

The boys have spent the last week refusing to wear clothing and the last two days, even diapers. Its turning cold (finally) and they want to be naked.

Nap time today was especially rough, they slept in late and refused to nap. Whatever, mom needs a little down time, fillings redone and mouth was killing me. In to bed they go, normal crying "I don't wanna be here" kind of cries.. then, the hysterics begin.

I find Thing 2, naked, in his pee. The horror upon horrors have happened to him, his blankie, his precious blankie from Auntie Julie and Uncle B is wet. He was not upset he peed in his bed but damn, the blankie took one for the team. Get him up and squared and turn to see Thing 1 kicking happily with his legs hanging out of his crib, also butt naked. Fine, out you get. What do they do.. run straight into the bathroom.

That's right, into the potty they went. Thing 2 climbed on while Thing 1 propped him up, giving him encouragement. With an all done declared, and no peepee in the potty, they swapped places and rolls. All on their own. Let me repeat that..

All. On. Their. Own.

I can't begin to imagine how to tackle this. It has been a few months since we tried the potty. Thing 1 had issues with constipation and was scared of the toilet since.

I can't get them to listen to me or figure out how to get them to comprehend telling mommy when they need to potty or getting them to actually pee.

Did I read a book? I gave up on child rearing books when nothing mentioned raising multiples outside of a few specialty books.

I guess I'm going to just go with the flow and see where we end up.

Pretty in Pink - and Muddy Trucks

I like pink.

I do. I like soft pinks and pale pinks and blush pinks and sometimes I like bright pinks.

I have a pink blanket from my small childhood days that still resides in my closet for my sad and sick days. It is full of holes and so worn its nearly see through. It is comforting and soft and fuzzy and pink and mine.

 When I moved home after my Mom fell and broke a chunk out of her shoulder blade I painted my room the palest pink and accented it with gray. The curtains were gray and pink pinstripe.

I like pink.

Most things in my life aren't pink. I have some t-shirts that are pink because it is a good color on me. And I have pink nail polish I wear occasionally. But most of my house is all about red and turquoise and gray. When I think of a little girl, I do think pink. I don't think she will be all "princessed" out just because I like pink or she has a pink room.

I like pink and I was NEVER the Princess.

I enjoy Disney movies and Cinderella and Peter Pan are still my favorites.

I don't care if my daughter(s) play princess. Or have Pretty Pretty Princess and dress up ball gowns that look like Belle's or a pink room with a pink blanket.

 

What I do care about is the additude. Being a "princess" doesn't mean you rule roost, are rude and bossy, or overly privledged. It certainly doesn't mean you get a way with everything simpliy because you are wearing a toy tiara and are just so precious looking.

What stops that "princess" additude is something called parenting. No, I don't have kids, how on earth dare I write about parenting? I have parents. Great ones. I have excellent role models of what it takes to raise kids in them. I can look at myself. I can look at my siblings. I can look at many other kids and see the difference. That is where my opinion and experience comes from. I intend to provide the same for my children as well.

 

So yes, someday if my husband and I look at ultrasound machine and are told "it's a girl!" pink will happen. So will dresses and bows and fairy tales.

I want my girls to be confident in being girly. I don't want them to feel like they have to be a "tomboy" to be taken seriously or thought smart. I want them to not care if someone dismisses them at first glance because they like girly things. It is a natural thing as a little girl to want to dress up. It is a natural thing as a young woman to want to feel pretty.

What I hope to instill into my daughters is where they find that feeling of beautiful. I want them to know it's a beautiful thing to see a confident woman. Comfortable in her own skin. Who demonstrates no need to excuse her glittery high heels or her awesome bow-hunting techniques. Because you can love dresses and shooting. Make-up and muddy trucks. Shoes and paintball.

"As I grew more confident professionally, I realized I could express my abilities just as well in a pink suit, or a neutral one worn with a colorful silk cami." -Ivanka Trump

I desire for my daughters to know that feeling feminine doesn't mean pink and princesses and being arm-candy. But being a strong woman also doesn't mean that you have to distain pink and princesses and dressing up for your man on a night out.

Being a beautiful, confident woman means enjoying the things you enjoy, no matter what it is, and enjoying being a woman. And if you enjoy your things in pink - that doesn't make you a weaker woman. Especially when you can out-shoot everyone else at the police department you work at.

Toys! Toys! Toys!

One of the issues that concerns my husband at times when it comes to little money and kids is providing them  things they want, not just need.

I had this outfit for my dolls...

It is a fair concern, and one that does come up nearly every day for most parents in the US.

I can't say that this is a big concern of mine, however.

It isn't that I don't want my kids to have things they enjoy or desire. It is simply that I don't think that kids have to have those feelings of "I want I want I want". Myself and siblings rarely had that. Neither did my cousins.

It wasn't that we were weathly - rather far from it. And I know that it helped a lot that we were homeschooled and did not have that peer goup pressure on a daily basis of "fitting in" (more on that topic later).

We thought this one was sooo cool

When I look back on my childhood there are a few things that stand out as awesome. When I ask my husband, and indeed, most of my friends, it is the the same for them as well.

1. Books it was impossible to ever ever ever have too many books, but the library was just as satisfying.

2. Barbies. one of my aunts only had boys and she loved to buy her 5 neices Barbies, and all her accessories for Christmas. I have a tub saved for my little girls.

3. Stuffed Animals seriously loved my stuffed animals more than dolls. My three favorites were a cat named Samantha, A seal named Aurora and a rabbit named Heidi-Kate. 

4. Giant Boxes! What kid didn't love giant boxes to make forts out of? Having a dad that could bring them home was AWESOME! 

5. Legos while they were pretty much always given to my brother, I can't imagine a childhood without them.

For my brother, cousins and husband the breakdown goes a bit like so:

1. Legos

2. GI Joe

3. Paintball guns and equipment

4. Sticks and dirt clods for battles

5. Video games

The games we played at kids often involved gathering up all of our little toys and setting up "shops", designating money and utterly distorying the living room for days.

Telling stories, So many nights my brother would sneak into the room I shared with my little sister, or we would go into his and tell whispered stories that we made up.

We also played ouside a LOT. Sometimes parentally enforced, often times voluntarily.

Ultimatly I suppose my point is this, I'm more concerned with raising happy, imaginative children who are able to entertain themselves then I ever will be with the "stuff" they have. Of course I want to be able to buy my kids the latest and greatest... if it really is the greatest. I really don't want to raise them to rely on constant stimulation from something new to play and have fun. I do not want to have children who are truely bored because, surrounded by heaps of toys and gadgets, they can't think of new ways to use them.

The toys we had as children were fun, I'm glad we had them. When I think back, however, I don't recall disappointment for not getting a specific Barbie doll. I remember how my parents set up a cheap shelving unit with doors to be a pretend doll house - because (as I now realize) they couldn't afford to get us a real doll house. And it was just as fun, my sister and I did not miss out or feel we were lacking. My parents did a great job, and I hope to do the same.

What toys from childhood do you remember?

In a few years...

 We always top a tree with the Abombiable Snowman

I can't lie. I am dreaming of babies. Every month that goes by I give a little sigh over all the things I could have been doing with a little one.

It isn't that I regret the choices that my husband and I have made.

Yes. We are taking the harder path, the longer, more up-hill road.

No. We really don't regret it.

Oh, there are some things we do wish were different. We could have stayed in Colorado. We could be making 6 figures between the two of us - right this minute. But, we aren't. We aren't even making 20 grand a year. That does suck. It sucks really hard. I'm not going to pretend that we like it, our current circumstances aren't fun by any means.

To be honest, however, it is more of a wishful thinking, then it is a regret. Had we stayed in Colorado, my husband would now be working between 80-90 hours a week. The money would be great... and the time would little. I would be working at minimum 55 hours a week. Again, the money would be rolling in. But the time to enjoy it?

In less than 3 years my husband will be graduating with a two bachelor's in fields that will make it easy for him to work from home. From. Home.

And he'll be making more money too.

In a few years the watching-every-penny won't be necessary, but it will have become a good habit. One we can pass on to our children. I'm grateful for that.

In a few years we will be able to live in a house and not be anticipating moving yet again.

In a few years we will be able to own more than one car. That will be nice.

In a few years we will be able to go on a real, honest-to-goodness vacation that doesn't include visiting our families - as much as we do enjoy that.

Grandpa visiting

In a few years we won't have opposite schedules.

In a few years... A lot of things will be different.

But life isn't about "in a few years." It is about here and now. Living in the joy and struggle of the present. I actually enjoy the challenge of our budget. It forces me to be creative, to stop and think, to be delibrate with each purchase. To lessen our accumilation of "stuff". To simplify and beautify. That is a pretty cool thing if you ask me.

Christmas Gifts = Less Shopping

Our Christmas Tree of Books

I am over shopping. 

And no I am not being "grinchy" nor am I full of bah-humbug.
I am simply tired of feeling like I'm saving money by compromising and buying the three shirts on sale versus the sweater I really want because I could get three of them for the same price as one.

I need a new mind-set. One that says, "screw trends!" in a ballsy (but lady-like) roar, "create your own classic look and rock it like Audrey Hepburn forever.

Add in Christmas shopping on a barely-there budget this year and I am really questioning "would they like this gift? Or am I buying it because I  think it is adorable?" Because, let's be honest, most of us do that.

For my extended family this year I made batches of Snickerdoodle cookie mix and Spiced Tea mix and packaged them in mason jars. For my grandparents I am making two signs. One says "Grandkids" and has clips for each of their darlings (there are 14 now) and one says "Great-Grankids" and will have clips (they have 3 now) with more to clips to be added as they come along. For my Nana, who loved paper dolls as a child and had an extensive collection saved in the Dustbowl era of Oklahoma, I am printing out those printable "old fashioned" paper dolls, and making them into magnets.

 My goal is to give gifts that are truely full of thought. Ones that show that I spent time on thinking about what would make them happy, what they would truely enjoy, what their individual style is.

I'm still working on ideas for my immediate family. For Blair, considering our limited budget, we agreed that we would only spend $30 dollars on each other. After talking with his friends in Colorado that he rarely sees, I have ordered him a webcam (yay Cyber Week deals!) so that he can Skype with them and play Dungons and Dragons.

I want him to have "guy time" again. Right now, he is attending a very small college and most of the students are 10 years younger than him. And single. And not thinking about kids. And really, they don't have much in commmon. He told me the other day he is the "old man".

The other thing I am doing for him is an idea I got from The Dating Divas - 25 days of celebrating my husband! I'm making cards for each day, a love letter, a compliment, and offer to make whatever he wants for dinner or dessert, breakfast in bed, a movie night.... All things that are free, or nearly so.

It is December 1st, you guys! 25 days until Christmas. I am excited, playing Christmas music, and last night I stayed up until 2am building us a Christmas tree from books since I have to pack them up anyway and I don't want to un-pack and then re-pack the Christmas stuff when I still have so much to get done for our move, two days after Christmas!

I love Linus from Charlie Brown's Christmas Special.



Merry Christmas
Julie

The Education of Produce

I am very passionate about education and gaining knowledge. Teaching by example from the first steps on is an integral part of parenting. While every parent has a different "parenting style" and opinion on different methods, this one philosophy holds true.

  

For example, Jen's twins think fresh vegetables and fruits are the best snacks ever. They ask for them. They have been known to go "steal" them out of the fridge to eat. The Things would not not doing this if their mom didn't set a great example of what to eat. At two years her boys are learning to eat healthy, through examples.

Another great thing Jen is doing is training to run a 5k with me in January. Take control of her physical health through exercise is a wonderful example for the boys as well. Getting outside, walking and running from a young age so it is a true habit before they go to college - what a gift. No "freshman 30" for those two!

And it started from birth.

These examples, through action, are so powerful. I didn't eat incredibly healthy during college, but I didn't go overboard (except for moonpies, just ask Jen). However, when I was ready to start eating healthy as much as I could, I didn't have to do research or ask a doctor, My parents had set an example my entire life.

 The Happiest 5k on the Plant

Words are powerful as well. If you complain about math, talk about how hard it is, or how much you hate it, or make comments that people who enjoy math are weird... How do you think that will ultimately affect your child's schooling and future decisions?

Being a parent is so hard for that reason. Everything we do and say is noticed and affects our kids. That is so frightening.

When I think about Blair and I becoming a parents, its these thoughts that are sobering. Who we want to be, vs who we are, how we see ourselves, vs how we really are, well, those are issues we discuss at length.

This past year has been one of growing for us. We are working on establishing better eating habits, regular homecooked meals, exercise as a lifestyle and becoming fiscally responsible. I know our kids aren't going to be perfect. And I know that we are going to make lots of mistakes. But striving to be better people - that counts for something. Something deep within us. When you fall in love, you want to be the person they love, be the person they deserve, because you love them. Children are even more. A depth that a non-parent can see, but the fullness of the beauty and fear and hope won't be fully realized until they hold their own child for the first time.

I can't wait.


Julie

To Tree or Not to Tree

This is the boys first Christmas living in a house larger than a shoebox.  Don't get me wrong, I (mostly) love the house in Washington, its got character. What it lacks, is good space for just about anything (really, any sense of clutter makes you feel like a candidate for Hoarders). So, no tree for the last 2 years. I did decorate 3 years ago and then it took me til April to take them down, damn morning-allday-thissucks sickness.

So the discussions this last weekend was "to tree or not to tree" or in layman's terms.. Real or Fake?

I love real trees, LOVE! The smell, the nature, the awesome, the memories of childhood. But, Oh the mess, the watering and dear lord, will the dog(s) pee on it??

But Fake, no watering, no mess and alas, no smell, no dog pee. But will it last, is it environmentally friendly? I killed one of these on my own. On my own. Its embarrassing and hilarious. It also begs the bigger question; If I can do it what can my offspring do?

I wish I could settle this by just getting a real, plant-able tree but it may prove to be cost-prohibitive.

We shall see what the decision is this weekend.

Jen

Family stockings: D, O, Mom, Dad, and the puppies. The 4 small ones hand made by me. 

So, for those burning to know. Mom asked me to add an ornament to the back of the tree (facing the window). Me, ever so lazy, just leaned from the glider rocker to add it. The glider tipped with me in it, into the tree. I had visions of how it was to be a present and I felt like a dumbass. I yelled for my mom, who laughed and then yelled for my dad, who again laughed. I was under this tree for 15 minutes, with them laughing at me. The glider and I were fine, the tree lost power to the bottom 3rd of the light string. Oops.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!! I hope you have a lovely one. Don't forget to say a prayer for all those who have to deal with the Black Friday Shoppers and madness the media and sales that will still be there in a week creates.

Here are some funny e-cards that made me think of the holidays (except I had an awesome Thanksgiving and am now working for double-time-and-half today and tomorrow (WHOOO, working in the 911 arena makes bank on holidays)

Don't forget to thank our Troops!!

Pocket Change is Precious

What goes hand-in-hand with children and babies?

Money!!!

Budgets, gadgets and gizmos!

You know that saying, "if you wait until you have enough to have kids, you'll never have kids"? Well, I agree... and disagree. What happens far to often is that even if people get more money through raises or better jobs, their spending just goes up. Holy crap, do you know how much you spend to go eat at Taco Bell twice a week?

It is insane. Dollar menus and Dollar stores are great - except that even those dollars add up. Love soda? Grab just one a day? Still spending $30 to $40 dollars a month, which is at least $360 a year! What do you do?

You take control. It is your money. You are the one spending it. If you have to sit down every night for year and go over what and where your money went that day to gain control do it. The rewards far out weigh the hassle.

Don't believe me? Well, starting now, not the first of the year, but now, this second this day, I am laying claim and taking responsibility. I bring home under $14,000 a year. And we are living and thriving off of that income. We are putting money into savings.

How? Simple.

Every week I sit down and look at every dollar spent. This really keeps us focused, that vending machine snack might mean no date night later. Yes, our budget is that tight. And that is okay. Once we have more money coming in - we will be doing the same thing. Good habits, fiscal education are irreplaceable gifts to give your children and they are best taught by example.

Yes, I am extremely enthusiastic about this life-long endeavor and I am inviting you to follow along. At least once a month I will be posting about what it takes to live a financially responsible life.   

It's going to be awesome.

Downsizing so that Upsizing Can Happen

Jen hasn't been feeling that great this week, and frankly, neither have I.

But a post must go up!

My darling husband and I have been, begrudgingly, looking at our "finances" if that is what you call a college budget, or pretty much a pay-check to pay-check existence.

In the spirit of "the future" we have decided to go look at a trailer to possibly move into next month. It would save us at least $200 a month that we could (and will) put into savings. Every. Single. Month.

It is time and past that we get aggressive about money and savings and being grown-ups.

I hate it.

I happen to like our little house quite a lot, thank you very much. It is 105 years old. every wall in the house is a foot and half thick adobe. It is quiet. I don't like the occasional mouse, or the ants in the summer. Or the waffle-board ceiling, or the excessive electric bill in the summer because it has central air that was installed backwards. But - it isn't a tiny trailer with no yard.

And, I must confess, this idea of moving to a cheaper place? Yeah, it is mine. Paradoxical?

And who found this other place? Me.

I'm having to remind myself a lot that this little town is just a place of long transition for us. 2.5 years until B graduates.

As long as there is room for our books, and the treadmill we ordered and our bed, and as long as the floor isn't falling in or something horrible like that, we will move. and I will grin and bear it. Because someday, not today, or next year, but someday. I'll build a house. And it will be perfectly imperfect.

we have 4 more bookshelves that you can't see here. 

Part 1. Why Julie Writes Here About Babies.

This was rather hard for me to write. In fact I had a mini-meltdown with my husband because of this. I didn't realize over these past 11 months how hard I've had to work to not be bitter. 8 years is a long time. I could have gone so far and done so much. True-fully, the only thing that keeps me from bitterness, is knowing that the path I've taken is how I met my husband. I love him. And I'll love being parents with him. I'll love growing old with him. I love him now. So I don't regret - much. But some... yes! Hells yes! 8 years of my life lived in an exhaustion so deep that brushing my teeth was a task that could wear me out? 8 years because NO doctor would LISTEN when I insisted something was wrong? I do resent that. Yes. It does color my thoughts. How could it not? 

I read a lot - maybe even an excessive - amount of articles and studies on everything related to pregnancy, birth and all that comes along with baby.

I study and I take notes. I am by no means an "expert" - whatever that is in women's health care. But I am passionately pursuing knowledge.

Why?

The short story is... I don't trust doctors. This shocks a lot of people. I have my reasons, however, and those reasons are the long story, they are the why. The what that drives me to know as much as I can of all options I will have, both good and bad, before I even get pregnant.

When I was 18 and in the middle of my first semester of college I went to the doctor with an achy body and excessive tiredness and mild fever. Instead of testing me for things like Mono, the doctor decided after 5 minutes that I had the beginning signs of MS. I was sent to the hospital to get an x-ray of my back.

I would like you to know that I now have photographic evidence that I have no excuse for slouching.

A week later I returned to the doctor's office, I was beginning to have trouble breathing. Turns out I did have Mono. A raging case of it. They gave me steroids and warned me to not attend any classes or work for a week because the steroids would kill my immune system and I would get very sick.

They then scolded me, telling me that if had come in any later that day I would have had to go to the ER and get a tube down my throat to help me breathe because it was swelling shut. Why hadn't I come in sooner?

...Awesome.

Being the open-minded person I am, I don't want you to think that that one experience colored my view of doctors.

That would be the next EIGHT years of doctors' visits that did that.

I never recovered from that excessive tiredness. In fact, it just got worse. And worse. And worse. By the time I was 23 I had seen many doctors. None of them could discover anything wrong.

Perhaps because they ALL did the same three tests and nothing more. Thyroid, Anemia, and Mono. Sometimes the Mono would show green. Of course, they would tell me, you are having a relapse.

I knew something else was wrong. I couldn't walk three blocks without being so exhausted I needed to take at least an hours' nap. This wasn't just "relapses" of Mono. This was something else. But all doctors refused to do any other tests. They were unnecessary in their Ph.D'd opinions.

I had always been severely skeptical of Alternative medicine. I even viewed any vitamin other than a multi-vitamin with suspicion. Science is good. Science saves lives.

I hit a breaking point after a doctor, in refusing to do any other tests or blood work (and I had very good insurance) told me that it was obvious from my symptoms that I wasn't sick. I was depressed. I needed mental healthcare.

This was infuriating - as much as I had the energy to be infuriated. I was beginning to learn that I knew my body best. I had good instincts. I could trust myself. I wasn't crazy, there was something wrong with me. It would just 3 more years to fully find out. (and I am not referring to depression when I say crazy, depression is a real, serious, disease.   It is a battle I hope to never have to fight.).

I went to my mom, I told her every little detail. I asked her to take me to Oklahoma. I wanted to go see my grandparent's "vitamin guy". A tiny little shop in a tiny little shopping mall called "Mawmaw's and Pawpaws". My grandmother made me an appointment so I could sit down and talk to this guy.

It was wonderful. He listened. He looked at my pupils. He asked a series of questions, the answers to which were everything I had spilled out to my Mom. She was there with me, nodding along.

I had Adrenal Fatigue.

He gave three types of pills, one, that was mainly hops, would help me sleep and quiet my mind (I have insomnia) and then a liquid multi-vitamins (eewww dirty prune juice would taste better) and Adrenal Support.

Within two weeks I felt so much better. I felt human again. It was huge.

Problem is? Adrenal Fatigue isn't recognized by a large percentage of doctors. Heck, when I Googled it after the vitamin guy suggested that was the issue - I was hugely in the realm of there-is-no-way-this-is-going-to-work. But it did.

Two months after this diagnosis (that yes, was denied by doctors). I met the man who was to become my husband. *cue the awwws*

Two months after that we had our first date. He lived in Colorado. I lived in New Mexico. After our second date I knew I'd be moving to Colorado. Two months later I did. (this is relevant, I promise.)

I have to tell you something about my husband. When I met him, there could be weeks at a time in which he could not remember drinking water. Not due to alcohol, he doesn't drink. No, because he would drink up to TWO GALLONS of Diet Pepsi a day. He lived off of gas station cheese pizza, plain cheeseburgers and an occasional Chipolte burrito (steak, cheese, rice).

I have no idea how he didn't end up with scurvy.

In horror, I began to cook him meals (he worked nights so dinner was his breakfast) he likes Italian food and biscuits and cornbread. So I thought, hey! I'll ease him to eating home-cooked and healthier meals. I'll make what he loves and slowly introduce something new.

By the time we became engaged, a year after we began dating, I felt as exhausted as I had before the discovery of Adrenal Fatigue. Nothing was helping. I had to quit my job and rely on my fiance for rent.

Three months later I moved back to New Mexico. I moved in with my parents. We were planning on making our home there anyway, and the wedding was taking place in my parent's backyard. I needed to find a job so that the soon-to-be Hubster could start college. My mom is a SAHM, she did all the cooking and after three months of living there it was wedding time and I felt good. (yay! wedding!)

Two months after our wedding, two months of living with Hubster and cooking for him I was completely done up. He took a full time job even though he was taking 18 credits and I quit. It was miserable.

After resting for a couple of months I felt a little better. Just enough better that when my husband decided on a different school, in a different town, I went and got a job and found us a house there while he finished up his current semester. A month and half later I was struggling. Again, the crushing weight of useless exhaustion was riding my shoulders.

One week before Christmas my Mom was diagnosed with Celiac. We had never heard of it before. She was told it could be hereditary. I started a Gluten-free diet right then and there. It took a few weeks, but I began to see and feel dramatic changes.

I did still end up quitting the job I held. Working 12+ hours a day in a negative environment doesn't exactly speed healing. Now, eleven months later, eleven months healthier, I can't believe how far I've come and how badly off I was. How much I was used to life sucking. It was the norm.

I'm going to end this here for now. This was the light version. The emotions I have tangled up in all of this, is more than I can handle fully writing about now.

But really, there is a very big part of me that wishes I could just go have a baby in the middle of a field at mid night under the stars and not have to involve doctors AT ALL. (this won't happen my husband would have a heart-attack) But I will not be having a baby in a hospital. Only if there are massive complications. I cannot emphasis enough how much Celiac has affected my life or how much doctors refusing, flat out refusing, to test me for more, has colored a lot of my world. People go through much much worse, so I don't mean to complain.

 But my husband and myself will be in charge of our children's births. Period.

Veteran's Day

Today is Veteran's Day. And we here at What Best Friends Talk About, would like to take a moment to say thank you.

And we would like to encourage you to say thank you as well. It doesn't matter what your political or religious affiliations are. Our military, past and present, they are sons and daughters.

They are someone's child.

Husband, wife, father, mother, brother sister. We thank you. You've got our backs always. All over the world. The least we can do is say thank you. To say, we see, we know, we appreciate. We've got your backs here at home.

Thank you.

check out the links below, words aren't ever enough. Even $2.00 can make a solider feel remembered. Say Thank you today with action and deed, not just words.

Julie & Jen and family

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hold-My-Hand/156293117729219

https://www.greenbeanscoffee.com/coj/

http://vetsadoptpets.org/

http://www.activeheroes.org/hike

What Best Friend's Talk About, Still Talks

• Me: Hi, Whatcha doin'?
  
  Jen: Laying in bed, watching Mad Men... you?
  
  Me: Just ran to the grocery store and got a peppermint mocha from Mcdonalds.
  And fries.
  In my pjs, and hoodie and fuzzy socks.
  Because I am CLASSY
  
  Jen: Hey, I went to the dentist today in my cleaning clothes.
  
  Me: Booyah! I am organizing my kitchen, it will be fab and totally make up for wearing flour covered pjs to the store where I know everyone.
   right?
  
  Jen: Rofl! totally!
  
  
  
  

Gratuitous Wedding Pictures Since I Have No Cute Kids

I have been working on a blog post about myself, to let ya'll know a little bit more about me and where my thoughts on all things baby related come from.

But it has been oddly tiring to write. I don't particularly care to relive things, that just plain suck(ed).

But on too something more interesting at the moment!

Marriage and weddings. Jen and I are both married. We also both know that you can be parents in all different ways.

It's generally easier for us to say "husband" because that is what we have. Being politically correct is boring and time-consuming.

Here is my man, isn't he handsome?

I adore my husband. Sometimes we fight. Sometimes they are stupid fights and sometimes there is actually an issue to be worked through. Sometimes it takes some time. But I know that he loves me always. And he knows that I love him. 

The first time he saw me in my dress <3

(P.S. my Mom and I made my wedding dress)

B. 's favorite picture

I look forward with all my heart to seeing B. become a father. He'll be a great one.

I love my gold shoes

The wedding ceremony, in my parent's backyard

My favorite